Filipino women are expected to be "playing hard to get". By playing hard to get, the Filipina tell the man he has to work hard to win her love and heart.

 






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Playing hard to get.

   

  The traditional “Dalagang Filipina” (Filipina Maiden) is shy and secretive about her feelings for a suitor and denies it even though she really likes the man.

 Filipinas “Pinays” are “mahinhin” (modest, shy, with good upbringing, & well mannered); she is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men. Thus, not to be described as “malandi” (flirt),
which is a taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned.

 Filipino women are expected to be “pakipot” (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance.
 By playing hard to get, the Filipina tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love. It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure her admirer‘s honesty and genuineness.  Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man’s love.

 
In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies. A man who is interested in courting a Filipina has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as aggressive or too presumptuous. Friendly dates are often the starting point. Later, couples may go out alone but is still to be done discreetly. If the couple has decided to reveal their relationship in public, they will tell their family and friends as well.

 



          

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  Nowadays, courtship is mostly about the same but the time spent for it shortens for so many reasons. First is the modernization of how to have a communication between two people.
 
 Before courtships took years because communications was just through letters and gifts sent to each other by a third party or what they call the “bridge“, unlike now there’s already email, cellular phones and telephones etc.
  Faster for the message to get through, the faster you’ll win her heart. And the faster the courtship ends.

 

Due to the emerging modernization on dating, Filipinas are often depicted stereotypically as “Mail Order Bride”. A misconception that is as insulting to you as it is to a Pinay. Filipinas are not docile and submissive women, they’re only looking for a man who acts like a man and treats them like a lady.


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